Recently I broke up with my boyfriend. Well, it was actually around two months ago, so I don’t know if you can call that ‘recent’, but it definitely still feels fresh. Shout out to Lily Allen for releasing her new album at the perfect time (I too was cheated on with an American). 

“Healing isn’t linear” always felt like one of those phrases that people love to throw around on TikTok that seems really obvious, but turns out it really is something you need to remind yourself of when going through a traumatic life event. Some days I feel like I have the power to completely change my life now that I’m a single woman. I’ll start reading a new book, watch a Letterboxd Top 250 film, deep clean my flat, and hit the gym, all in one day. The next day I can’t even get out of bed to get a glass of water to take my Sertraline. 

As a self-diagnosed shopaholic, retail therapy has been my main outlet currently, alongside the strawberry Trü Frü (which costs like £500 for a bag). I also love to leave, so I’m currently planning to get out of London, save money (which is a struggle considering the whole retail therapy thing), and move to Amsterdam, although I should probably consider learning a bit of Dutch first. And I’m rewatching Bojack Horseman for the 50th time, because no matter how bad my life gets, at least I’m not him (yet). 

I did download Hinge for a while, but if anything that just made me feel worse. The dating scene in London is as dire as ever. Instead, I’ve decided to take a vow of celibacy because men are gross and liars and I want to stay far far away from them. I did look into becoming a nun but according to my research it takes like seven years and I don’t know if I’m actually committed enough for that. I also don’t believe in organised religion which may be a slight problem. 

I think what I really need, and what I’m working hard on, is to fall in love with myself again. I have amazing friends who I love and they love me and although I’m not obsessed with London right now, it’s not the worst place to be young and single. Being cheated on sucks and men suck and life is sometimes shit, but it is what it is.